Because I can...

It’s been a long time since my family has played ball together. Quarantine stole a season and then some. Very grateful to be able to take this selfie.⁣
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I’m stronger than I was last time I tentatively stepped out onto the court. In spite of a recent flare. In spite of residual fatigue.⁣
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“I’m still getting younger!” I said to my kid. And he was (wisely) silent because I’m clearly aging.⁣
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But I ran across the gym and it didn’t hurt. And I thought (not for the first or last time) that I’m glad that I’ve been free to manage my own health care. And to make choices along the way to step into or stay out of the system.⁣
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There’s a massive new building being constructed at a city hospital right now. We pass it every week and I’m amazed that we have enough people and needs to fill it.⁣
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What is health care? Is it different than sick care? Are we better off now than when the buildings were smaller and the resources scarcer?⁣
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The statistics say no. Cancer rates are still high. Overall lifespan is decreasing. Autoimmune disease has reached epidemic proportions. Heart disease, diabetes... it just goes on and on.⁣
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This is not a doom and gloom post. Just a “what the heck are we doing?” post. And a “Thank you, Jesus!” post.⁣ I will certainly die of something sooner or later. But I owe my life to God...⁣
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And every action I take toward honoring His design for my body is a gift given back to Him. I do not worship the body but I care for it reasonably. So that I may serve according to His will.⁣
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After we left the gym I was exhausted and sore. Where are you endorphins?! Taking a hiatus this week and it’s fine. But the gratitude I feel is tremendous and I am eager to go back.⁣
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Because I can. And I know what it’s like to say “I can’t.”⁣
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I don’t want to spend my life counting diagnosis. I want to spend it living. And while visits to shiny medical offices may sometime be necessary, the vast majority of healing happens at home. In the gym. In the woods. In the kitchen. On the couch. On the track. In church. In prayer. With my family.⁣
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I’m so darn tired this week. Flares are a drag. Starting again. Always. And always reorienting back to gratitude. Deo Gratias ❤️

Free SoulCore download...

ANNOUNCEMENT! Every person who registers for the Rise Up & Run virtual 5k will receive a FREE SoulCore digital download from the SoulCore shop. ($14.95 value)⁣
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This applies to any level registration and will be available to download through July 31st.⁣
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I am so grateful to the @soulcoreproject for this gift! And for those in the apostolate who are running and praying with us. (Let’s do this @deannemiller_ !)⁣
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If you have already registered, you will receive this information soon. And if you haven’t registered yet...⁣
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What are you waiting for? 😉⁣
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☀️You don’t have to run, you can walk.⁣
☀️You don’t have to walk, you can roll.⁣
☀️Your prayers will be taken up by those of us who are participating.⁣
☀️Your effort is a testimony, an act of praise, and a gift of prayer for others in your life.⁣
☀️Profits will help support abuse victims in the Church.⁣
☀️Make it a community or family event, grab a friend, or just enter silently into your effort.⁣
☀️T-shirts, medals, stickers, spiritual bouquets available

Surrendering again...

Sometimes you get a great shot of the back of peoples’ heads... because you are following behind them as they lead. These two beautiful women have modeled such joyful surrender to me that even their ponytails make me smile. (Thank you @soulcorecleveland)⁣
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When we last met 6 months ago, we were just emerging from a quarantined world and the Holy Spirit was continuing a great work in my soul.⁣
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Through this apostolate, I was returned to the arms of Blessed Mother, spouse of the Holy Spirit.⁣ The change I have undergone in just a year’s time is nothing I expected.⁣
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In the first half, I learned how to praise again. I learned to surrender a bit more. In the second, I learned to believe in miracles. I learned awe.⁣ I thought I knew these things before. Now I know with certainty that I am an infant in faith.⁣
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I was blessed to also spend this weekend with one of my daughters, who modeled for me great faith. I took notes at times during our talks. Privileged to ponder her words.⁣
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We talked about the Holy Spirit. We prayed together along with 10 other women. We offered ourselves again to the Lord and Mary. We laughed. And we contemplated the life of Christ, friendship, and martyrdom.⁣
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I don’t know how to express all of the thoughts and emotions of this year outside of a desire to RUN interiorly and exteriorly.⁣
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To give great effort. To throw myself toward His help. I am looking forward so much to the Rise Up & Run 5k, not because it will feel great (this was not my experience last year!) but because I want to push...⁣
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I don’t want to be asleep anymore. I want to feel my arms shake during a workout. I want to pray when it gets hard. I want to weep at the right times. I want to see what is beautiful with redeemed vision.⁣
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I was moved this weekend when we were praying a SoulCore rosary and a woman named Mary was leading. As she prayed, her face was alive with joy and her arms extended in praise. Her “Hail Mary!” was one of the most authentic prayers I have ever heard.⁣
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And I wanted to follow her radiant smile... and her ponytail. Thank you, Jesus, for bringing me people who radiate Your Spirit. Thank You for everything.

Running for you...

We went to the track last night with the kids to get in some practice for the Rise Up & Run 5k in July. Link is in my profile if you’d like to join us from wherever you are! My kids are super excited. But...⁣
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Some of us forgot how painful running can be when you’ve done a lot of hibernating over the winter!⁣
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Little Z ran and ran. His short legs gave it everything just for the love of the effort.⁣
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The rest of us need the dangling carrot of race day to keep us going. But we will take it. Let the preparations begin! And...⁣
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Every runner registered so far and any intentions you’ve shared were carried with us. We run...⁣
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For your marriages.⁣
For your children to return to the Lord.⁣
For you to find a permanent home.⁣
For your healing of disease.⁣
For your grandchildren.⁣
For a softening of your grief.⁣
For your business venture.⁣
For Beckett Weinert.⁣
For peace in our country.⁣
For an end to abortion.⁣
For your private heartaches.⁣
For your broken bodies.⁣
For healing from mental illness.⁣
For freedom from addiction.⁣
For your deployed loved ones.⁣
All known and unknown petitions...⁣
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All of it offered up with our efforts everyday. And those of you who are running/walking/rolling/crawling toward the same goal...⁣
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Please carry all of us with you, too.⁣
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Also, if you didn’t share your intentions on your registration form, feel free to send me a message. And if you aren’t registered but would like us to carry your prayers... just drop me a dm or comment below.⁣
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“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3)⁣
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#riseupandrun21 ⁣

Registrations are open! Rise Up & Run 5K

Registrations are open!⁣⁣⁣ Go here to learn more and join us: Rise Up & Run Virtual 5K run and walk
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Last year was amazing and we are ready to run/walk/crawl/stumble/roll and pray with you again. With brand new swag for 2021… and a new song of gratitude to sing.⁣⁣⁣
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“Call us back… Let us run.” is taken from a prayer of St. Augustine:⁣⁣⁣
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"You never go away from us, yet we have difficulty in returning to You.⁣⁣⁣
Come, Lord, stir us up and call us back. Kindle and seize us. Be our fire and our sweetness.⁣⁣⁣
Let us love. Let us run."⁣⁣⁣
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Race date is July 22nd, 2020 (Feast of St. Mary Magdalene) But because it is a virtual run, you can participate on your time table.⁣⁣⁣
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During the heaviest times of life, we look to the Transfiguration (Matt. 7:17). The disciples fell terrified before Jesus. And Jesus said:⁣⁣⁣
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“Rise, and do not be afraid.” …. “And when they lifted their eyes, they saw only Jesus.”⁣⁣⁣
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Those are the words which move us to courage…⁣⁣⁣
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I shall not be afraid of what is evil.⁣⁣⁣
I shall not be afraid of what is beautiful.⁣⁣⁣
I shall not be afraid of sickness… or healing.⁣⁣⁣
I shall not be afraid of the magnitude of the calling God has placed upon my life... or of my littleness, which seems insufficient for that call.⁣⁣⁣
I shall see Jesus alone… and I will RISE UP AND RUN to Him.⁣⁣⁣
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May our lives be a testimony of praise, and this run a small act of courage in the storm. It began as a seed planted through tears; a note of defiance against sorrow and quarantine. But has grown into a cry of victory.⁣⁣⁣
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We raise the standard of HOPE. He has won. Alleluia! Let us run to Him.⁣⁣⁣
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Registration link is in my profile.
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• Several shirt options this year w/youth sizes.⁣⁣⁣
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• Three registration levels (shirts, medals, stickers, and digital-only options)⁣⁣⁣
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• Your prayer intentions go with us on every training run and race⁣⁣⁣
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• Give Spiritual Race Bouquets to friends and family.⁣⁣⁣
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• Proceeds from registrations will go to abuse recovery ministry in the Church.⁣⁣⁣
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Thank you @1brooketaylor for being willing to enter in with me again. And to @joyfilledfamily @runningmyselftogether @chroniclesofstrength @solesearchingmamma #riseupandrun21

Preparing to run...

It is with much gratitude that I announce...⁣
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Registrations for the 2021 Rise Up & Run virtual 5k open tomorrow!⁣
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Last year, the preparation and running of this event was a moment of significant movement of body and soul for me.⁣I came with nothing but a tiny effort... a small effort oriented toward healing...⁣
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And PRAISE.⁣
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In the midst of quarantine, I needed to find a way to grow, reach, breathe, and strive toward my beautiful God.⁣ One year later, I have new reasons to run. And some that remain the same.⁣
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It’s a song of praise.⁣
A cry of lament.⁣
Defiance against the darkness.⁣
A prayer of gratitude.⁣
A sanctified effort with my brothers and sisters in Christ.⁣
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And just like last year...⁣
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You are welcome to join us walking, running, crawling, limping, rolling... however you are able to rise on that day.⁣
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A gift to God.⁣
A prayer for others.⁣
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Stay tuned... ☀️

Becoming a SoulCore leader...

One of the great gifts of 2020 was becoming a SoulCore leader. And it was an absolute joy to lead a group of women on the Arise Retreat in person last week after loss of flesh and blood community for so long.⁣⁣
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SoulCore integrates the rosary with core strengthening, stretching and functional movements; to nourish body & soul and encourage deeper reflection on the Mysteries and virtues of the rosary.⁣⁣
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It incorporates scripture, sacred art, music, candlelight, and movement. A gentle path to grow in virtue and cultivate interior peace. ⁣⁣
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Every movement is an invitation. As I told the women on retreat, it is okay to modify the movements or just rest in the presence of the Lord.⁣
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But it does feel so good to push the muscles! To feel them shaking and know that the body is being moved to be more and do more in service to love.⁣⁣
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I was nervous about leading SoulCore on retreat because I had never led such a large diverse group. But in that context, I rediscovered the reason I love this apostolate…⁣⁣
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Gathering together with beautiful, loving sisters who are willing to be a little imperfect while we lay down our lives in surrender to Jesus and His Blessed Mother.⁣⁣
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My nerves left completely. We laid down our intentions. I only forgot one Hail Mary. And I felt again the healing consolation of community, contemplation on the mysteries of Christ’s life, physical movement, rest, silence, and the love of our perfect Mother.⁣⁣
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At Arise, we used a very special rosary centerpiece for SoulCore from @freshrosary. Simply stunning. Every bead was a fresh red rose. Julia created and packaged it with such love. And from across the country, she prayed with us.⁣⁣
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After SoulCore, the rosary was presented to Mary at the front of the chapel where it remained throughout the retreat. Many took a petal to press in their Bibles to remember a grace-filled weekend and the love of God.⁣⁣
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Please go follow @freshrosary! I can’t say enough about her rosaries, her customer service, and her beautiful soul! And she’s given me a 15% discount code just for you: ARISE⁣⁣
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If you are local, reach out for my @soulcoreproject locations. Zoom coming also.⁣⁣

He said I would never run again

Dear Doctor... I was so relieved when you said “your running days are over.”⁣⁣⁣
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It gave me some closure as I grieved my increasing disability. It relieved me of the feeling that it was my fault for not trying hard enough.⁣⁣⁣
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I was trying so so hard. And just kept declining. Your words set me free for a little while. Helped me to accept the loss.⁣⁣⁣
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But you forgot to finish your sentence. You should have said:⁣⁣
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“Your running days are over... FOR NOW.”⁣⁣⁣
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But you didn’t know. You couldn’t have. And I am grateful for the care you gave me. Neither of us could have anticipated that, 10 years after I left your office with a walking boot and ankle brace to help manage my pain...⁣⁣⁣
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That I would run again.⁣⁣⁣
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Never mind the goofy compression socks. I’d wear a chicken suit to run if it meant that I could stay healthy and strong. Because I know...⁣⁣⁣
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There will come a day in all our lives when we cannot run, cannot walk, cannot crawl.⁣⁣ But today is not that day for me. Not yet.⁣⁣⁣ I will continue to move and stretch and push back. I will strive and rise. And I invite you all to join me from wherever you are...⁣⁣⁣
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Because many of you have asked for another Rise Up & Run Virtual 5k... and it’s almost time to open registrations!⁣⁣⁣
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Crawl, walk, run, shimmy, scoot, or roll. Come as you are. And watch for the announcement.

Healing Milestone (SoulCore, Fitness, Courage)

In the last two months, I’ve earned my Personal Trainer and SoulCore Leader certifications. If you know me, you know that these victories run so much deeper than collecting titles...⁣

In 2018, I wrote:⁣
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“I don’t know whether to accept this sedentary life and the constant pain and decline—aging on fast forward—or whether to fight...⁣ And how does a woman fight when she’s so broken? How does she raise her body in praise when she cannot even rise from her bed?⁣ I know I’ll have to rise from the heart because my body is useless. Begging for the heart of my Savior and His Blessed Mother. With their courage, I pray to accept the cross of disease... and still keep the door open for hope of healing.”⁣
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On the days I couldn’t walk, couldn’t rise, couldn’t breathe under the weight of grief... I never imagined that I could feel physically strong again. Yet here I am.⁣
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SoulCore is a perfect fit for my life, namely because prayer is at the heart and not my ability. It’s about Relationship not perfection. If my body is weak on a given day, then I bring what I can. And if all I have is my broken body on a mat... I will rest there with my Lord and His beautiful Mother.⁣
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I went to the gym today and had some face tremors. Out of my control. I don’t know why my body malfunctions. As they increased, I felt sorrow rise, I told my husband about it (because I need his hand), and I finished my workout with renewed purpose.⁣
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Eventually, I will lose my physical health completely and succumb to illness, age, death. So I will build my foundation on permanent things...⁣
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And keep fighting for every step in between. Last Summer, I ran a 5k seven years after being told I would never run again. This year, I plan on doing it again...⁣ Maybe running, maybe walking, maybe crawling... I give it all to Jesus.

Sweet Savior, make me brave. Amen. ❤️⁣
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* NOTE* I will be focusing mostly on in-person @soulcoreproject classes (we need to be with people again) but also working on digital options for my broader community. Sign up for my email updates to stay in touch. ❤️