Who am I? Short answer...

The most difficult question I ever have to answer in an interview is “Tell us about yourself.” It’s not technically a question but it points to one...⁣
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Who are you and what do you want us to know about you?⁣
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Cue existential crisis.⁣
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I trip on it every time. Because it lives at the core of my overthinking brain like an ocean...⁣
⁣Encompassing every experience, confusion, truth, and metaphysical reality about my life.⁣
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All the audience really wants to know is what I do... something interesting about me. And if I don’t have something written in front of me, I fall into the ocean...⁣
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I’m no one, really. Besides belonging to Christ, I live insignificantly with my exceptional husband and our children.⁣ Some are adults and some still eat soap if it smells good. And I do a lot of dishes.⁣
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My left shoulder is higher than the right from hoisting children for 23 years. My left hip is also off because it has been a baby seat for that same time...⁣
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Until now. It’s been 6 years since I’ve been pregnant. Things are different. Who am I? Is that what you asked? Well...⁣
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Good question. I’m changing. I think I’m getting smaller. I matter less which frees me to do more. I wish I had been 44 when I was 20... I would have wasted less of what was given to me. Maybe.⁣
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I write a little. Do this and that. I don’t know. I have some papers and accomplishments and every time I earn one, I have a moment of clarity...⁣
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That it doesn’t matter much. And I’d better go catch up on the dishes.⁣
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Who am I? Good good question. The full answer can be found in the heart of Jesus Christ. And the goal of my life should ideally be seeking His heart... which is where I will find myself.⁣
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But that’s tough to fit into the intro of an interview. I’d better write something else down. 🌸

God gave me a choice: All or nothing

Yesterday, I had the privilege of sharing part of my conversion story with @jimhavens@the_simple_truth_show . As usual, I can’t recall much of what I said (nerves will do that) but I do know that the Eucharist is at the center of everything.⁣
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There have been times when my faith in the institution has been rocked and I’ve been forced to examine, from every angle, my belief and what holds me in that belief.⁣
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If I ever left Catholicism, I couldn’t become a Protestant. I would have to leave Christ completely... because the pivotal transformation of my life happened at the invitation of our Eucharistic Lord Himself.⁣
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And if I left Him, my departure would be a shout of “Non Serviam!”— like Lucifer — instead of the squishy fading away into unbelief.⁣
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The human face of the Church is broken, hardened, hypocritical, abusive, and even in the service of the enemy at times. There have been moments when my heart has been broken and I have been tempted to conflate the promises of Christ with those imposters who defile the sanctuary and fool the faithful by wearing robes of Christ. But...⁣
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When I was 18 years old, our Lord gave me a choice. Between belief and unbelief. Between the glitter of the world and the miraculous of the mundane presented in a tiny white host.⁣
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In the Scriptures, Jesus asks his disciples, “Will you also go away?” (John 6: 22-71). And when He asked me, I answered...⁣
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I’ll stay, Lord. I will worship my God, present in the Holy Eucharist, fully believing and embracing the consequences of that belief.⁣
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It is a time of great evil and of great miracles. My own testimony is a great miracle—an impossible rescue—brought about in the silence of a soul and the little details of one life.⁣
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Ask for your miracle.⁣
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Ask Him today to give you the gift of desire. Of fidelity. Of passion. Of vision. Ask Him to bring you the miracle that you need to stay with Him forever.⁣
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Then arrange everything in your life to allow for that miracle to happen.⁣
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“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thes. 5: 16-18)

Detachment (2020 Thanksgiving)

Friday introductions. I’m not shopping today. I didn’t get a family photo. My house is a mess. And everyone’s sleeping in until they can’t sleep anymore (apparently). Which is a great time to just say hello here!⁣
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This photo was taken in the midst of prep for my first ever Thanksgiving in my own home. I have a Pinterest board full of ideas for that anticipated event... but I didn’t know it would be this year. So...⁣
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There was no pretty decor. There was laundry on the sofa. We had no green beans (Midwest shocker), and I felt a little weepy over circumstances that blew up my Pinterest dream and separated us from family.⁣
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But I was surprised by how the sorrows illuminated the blessing, and moved by the goodness which God has provided...⁣
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How my husband has built a home of faith and stability and love... the presence of all my kids...⁣
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The almost painful clarity of the gift of 2020. It has thrown us all into the fire and I see in my own family a true purifying. An amplifying. A tempering.⁣
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Also in 2020, my faith (which has been tried and tested in the last 5 years) has been strengthened with a companion emotional consolation that I quite honestly never expected to experience again.⁣
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I was happier than I look in the photo. It accurately depicts my level of fatigue and also some sorrow. But yes, I was happy.⁣
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Whatever comes in the next year is in His hands. And I’m working ahead of time on detaching from expectations for Christmas.⁣
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Jesus comes. And maybe we will have to light our fire of praise in the woods like we did for Easter. I don’t know. Whatever He wills. I pray that I will meet it all with His unmerited grace. A priest I know recently said that our faith should not be just an introspective spiritual journey... but should manifest concretely in the world.⁣
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And the word that has grown louder for me this Thanksgiving is TESTIFY.⁣
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Not sure this has been a great introduction! But it’s like me, I guess... overly introspective and wandering!⁣
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Other than that I’m a mom with 9 kids (one loss) ages 4-23. Wife to a fire chief/theologian. Author (click here for my book!), natural health and medical freedom advocate. AMDG

And she wore red and testified...

I have some new followers (hello!) and so I thought I would do a brief introduction and also take the opportunity to give you a discount code for pretty clothes...⁣
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I found my Christmas outfit. And even though my governor is working hard to snuff the life out of our celebrations, I will wear it. Even if I have to walk up and down the street singing Christmas Carols to the trees.⁣
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And perhaps that's a perfect introduction for me today...⁣
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The homeschooling mom of 8 who wrote a book on natural Catholic healing, uses the dishes as a gauge for my spiritual life, and made an agreement with social media to proclaim the name of Jesus and speak the Truth... or leave.⁣
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I'm an idea person with more schemes than time. But sometimes things stick...⁣
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My idea today is that I want to run for political office someday to help take back our country. But also that I won't ever wear a suit jacket at a press conference...⁣
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Maybe I'll wear a red circle skirt.⁣
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About that... my outfit is from @mariezeliebrand and I love it. But even before I received these lovely, high quality clothes to review, they had me at their tagline: A.M.D.G.⁣
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My skirt is the Vinca in red. It is a classic, cotton, high-waisted circle skirt featuring POCKETS. (Yes, ladies... pockets.)⁣
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My shirt is the Lovoa Blouse in black. I love the quality and generous weight of the fabric.⁣
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My style is eclectic. I wear what I like. And I often wear my mood. I never used to wear red because I didn't want to stand out. I still prefer a hidden life where no one notices or prods or screeches at me for not conforming...⁣
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But it's awfully hard to share the Gospel in silence. It's impossible to defend the vulnerable. And though tomorrow I will probably dream of garden-tending with a muddy apron, in an obscure, internet-less hamlet (with goats)... today? I feel like wearing red.