Getting out of the lifeboat for Lent
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"Repent, and believe in the gospel."
Today's Gospel is so powerfully succinct, wrapped in the words of our Blessed Lord Himself. There is no parsing, haggling, or manipulation here. Our excuses fall instantly before the piercing arrow of Divine Truth.
"John had been arrested" and the time for prophesy and preparation was passing into a time of decision...
"The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe the gospel."
I am struck today by this call to penetrating clarity and truth. It is Lent. But it is also just another day that leads to eternity. And as always, I am caught up in the Word, astonished by it... but perhaps not yet pierced by it enough to let Him change me completely.
I know that I only permit the Truth to go so far without full permission to reach the darkest corners; those nooks which contain a lifetime of rationalizing those things which aren't of Him. Because...
Sin makes us dumb.
Sin makes us blind.
And in our sinfulness, we know intellectually that we are blind and dumb... but we still keep Christ out of the recesses because...
We don't truly desire full freedom.
A pious Lent is easy. It's easy to stay on top of the water in my lifeboat and fight with things like chocolate. But I don't want to be knocked into the waters of true renewal where I can't pretend that the battle is that easy.
Repentance is difficult because I know where the hardened places are and I must again engage in that death battle with my chosen millstones. I don't want to do that. Not today.
My prayers are pious, yet it is hidden actions of soul which reveal my true desire. And that is where Lent works and is so beautiful and potentially powerful.
Sin makes us dumb.
Sin makes us blind.
God sometimes answers my prayers by giving me exactly what I want. He says "This Way" and I say "No, That Way... I've discerned it" and He allows me to move--with my mask of piety--in the direction that leads to my own destruction. Rock bottom of the soul. And He waits for me to seek Him.
Tough love. I get that.
Onward into Lent. Repent and believe in the gospel! He is waiting... but time is short.