Staying in my lane for Advent (maturing motherhood?)

I’m usually in charge of the cookie baking and decorating. But this year I let it go and my middle girls took the reigns.⁣ I just stayed in my lane helping the 4-year old. A messy wonderful job.⁣
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At the end of the day, the table was covered with the work of their hands and hearts. Beautiful.⁣
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This was also the year that I didn’t put a single ornament on the tree. And I didn’t move any ornament on the tree to a “better” spot.⁣ I used to delight in such details but lost that pleasure during my sickest years when I cried my way through many Advents.⁣
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I expect that my desire to tinker and fuss will return someday. But for now, if it manifests, it pops up more like a manager than a lover... without sweetness and light. And nobody needs more of that.⁣
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So I’m watching this transition happen and it brings more delight than the work of my own hands ever could.⁣
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My dad used to allow me to decorate our home and tree every year. I had total control of the decoration box and I loved it. Truth be told (and photos verify) that my 10-year old decor choices were gaudy and terrible...⁣
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But now I understand why he let me do it. And why he didn’t fix it. I’m sure it was partially because he was tired. He didn’t really want to be in control. But I imagine he also took some delight...⁣
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And every year, he told me it looked wonderful and he thanked me.⁣
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My kids have siblings so they self-correct better than I did. For example, they would never let each other put gold garland around the lamp shades! The older ones would stop them for sure...⁣
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But I’m not sure that I would anymore. Maybe I would just tell them it was wonderful.⁣ Cleaning up the messes now. Heading into expectant silence. Praying for you all. Maranatha!