She was there before I was

It was a long night. My eyes would pop open, my heart would pound, and I would be painfully aware of my suffering child. I wasn’t with that child… but I knew I was walking some kind of Via Dolorosa with them from afar.

Mom grace is like that sometimes. You just know. Maybe the Holy Spirit wakes you up. Or you just know the signs. Or both.

Anyway, I felt it and grieved as I joined in the struggle. It sounds a bit dramatic, I know… but life IS sometimes dramatic. There is weeping. There is falling to the knees. And in the life of the spirit, the battle for souls is central and fierce.

So, I kept waking. And towards the early morning light, my pious prayers to Blessed Mother became ugly cries of desperation. I asked her to be with my children when I couldn’t be. To hold them. To rescue them.

Consolation came as I saw her in my mind’s eye embracing my beloved child. I was struck by her posture of deep gift. Covering, embracing, enfolding. But even more struck by one realization…

She was there before I was. She, the Spouse of the Holy Spirit, was certainly the one who woke me, not the other way around.

She is the sleepless mother who wakes with her children on her heart.

She never leaves them. And she is closest to them when they are broken and lost. I surrendered my child to her in that moment more completely than I had ever been inclined to before. And I slept.

In the weeks and months that followed, miracles unfolded for my family. And I don’t use the word “miracles” lightly. Mary was at the root of all of them. Not vaguely as in “oh I just know that she answered my prayers” but manifestly.

And with the memory comes courage. There is no soul seeking light which is unattended by her presence. And no soul choosing darkness which isn’t being interceded for with devotion and perseverance. I know this…

Because I am a mother.

She who carried Divinity in her womb has touched Love itself and become perfect mother to all. She will not rest until we are safe or until we have chosen with finality.

Ask her for your miracles. And expect them. They will come in the perfect timing and manner of Jesus Christ at her request.