Carried. 25 years.

CARRIED.⁣
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I give thanks for the passing of years which illuminate what has gone before and how it will be with what is to come.⁣⁣ My conversion was a battle in which I fought. Yet with memory enlightened by grace, I see how I was softly lifted out of the conflict by the tender hands of the Father.⁣⁣
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In a similar manner, my marriage has been a besieged fortress, sometimes from the inside and sometimes without. And yet the marking of 25 years has granted me clarity of vision…⁣⁣
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I have been carried.⁣⁣..
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The heartaches which felt crushing have not crushed me.⁣⁣
The grief that has occasionally laid its pall over me has never buried me.⁣⁣
The losses and the trials have only been allowed to touch me lightly even when I believed that I carried the load.⁣⁣
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25 years has taught me that I have only lived on the surface of the drama of love, held back by the erroneous belief that sacramental graces were only a nice addition to what I would build…⁣⁣
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And discovering that I have been carried all along. Weak as a baby. Dependent on Divine care and the love of a man devoted to the Lord.⁣⁣
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In that greenhouse—which I mistakenly thought to be the wilds—my soul has been cultivated in love. And it is in that context which I have been able to grow stronger for my purpose.⁣⁣
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I am a little girl growing into matriarch. I am this handsome man’s sweetheart becoming rooted as heart in his home.⁣⁣
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I surrender to this mystery.⁣
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Marriage is a lot like birth in that the trial of vulnerability becomes a deep fire of strength. Masculinity is beautiful. Femininity is powerful…⁣⁣
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Yet I will never be a feminist again, because I will not choose to be fragmented from what is whole.⁣⁣
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My husband carries me. Not because I am worth less, but because I am treasure. Even in our brokenness, he carries our pieces to the foot of the cross… and we are renewed.⁣⁣
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In this life, we won’t be perfect or without trials or pain. Never perfect complete unity.⁣⁣ Yet there is unshakable sweetness. The renewal of vows a true refreshment as we reenter the battle. A testimony to grace⁣.⁣
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We walk hand-in-hand but I know the full truth… that I am carried. Thanks be to God.❤️