How to Celebrate a Catholic Confirmation

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Spoiler: There is no perfect way to celebrate a Confirmation other than to invite the Holy Spirit into the heart of your day and proceed with joy! But it is a cause for feasting and communal rejoicing… so I’ve compiled some of little touches which have helped us acknowledge the greatness of the event.

How do I prepare for a party? I essentially just poke around Pinterest until I find something beautiful that recalls to mind both guests of honor: the Holy Spirit and the Confirmandi! And then I find one item of focus and start to build from there.

As you can tell, I’m artistically minded and paint a party like a Monet. It doesn’t make sense to everyone but as long as the final picture reflects something lovely, it’s fine. My DIY blog posts will drive the super-planners among you batty. With that in mind…

Below are basic rules for putting together your party. And if you are looking for more ideas after this post, I’ve written about this before HERE .

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RULE #1: THERE ARE NO RULES

I mean that. As long as you have your people, your joy, a central focus on the things of God, you’re good to go. And even if you are a hot mess with a newborn on your hip and a clogged toilet… party cheerfully anyway! The Spirit is working in you and around you… let your mess be an adventure of refinement. Offer it all to Him as a gift and let Him make it good.

MAKE ONE THING BEAUTIFUL (and put it in the middle)

No one will ever accuse me of being a domestic diva. And parties are not my strength. If that is your challenge as well, just focus on making one thing beautiful. And I don’t mean just Instagram-worthy… I mean something meaningful which has the potential to make a memory but also is oriented towards hearts.

This may sound shallow, but I find that I’m pretty good at doing this through dessert (I will share some of my successes below). And I don’t mean that I’m a great baker, only that I’m creative and find that it’s a way to express what I’m pondering about the goodness of God.

But this can be done in other ways…

Decor.
Letter writing.
Floral arrangements.
Gift giving.
Sewing.
Pictures.
Prayer.
Music.
Fellowship.
Family.

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PRAY

Pray all through the prep and all through the day. Confirmation is easy because you can just pray COME, HOLY SPIRIT! and then hit repeat. It is especially helpful when you accidentally ruin the cake and have to start all over again. But also pray it all through Mass, preparations, and dish washing.

God knows your heart and hears the changing inflections. He comes because He is faithful. Bring Him into your preparations and party. Bring Him into your interactions, stress, and clean up. You will be imperfect. But He is there.

Here’s a wonderful Holy Spirit Novena to pray as well. There isn’t one specific time that a novena has to be prayed. Maybe pray it leading up to Pentacost or pray leading up to Confirmation. Novena to the Holy Spirit for the Seven Gifts

READ (and talk about it)

In the days leading up to the sacrament, walk your family through the Acts of the Apostles in Scripture. Read about Pentacost and the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. Help your family see that this is not a story book but a family history. It is real. Emphasize that this same Spirit which poured out gifts and power on the Apostles is the same one which will descend during the Confirmation Mass.

I also recommend diving into the Church’s teachings on the sacrament. Here are some of my thoughts on why Confirmation is not a “rite of passage” but a free and unmerited gift at any age. What Confirmation is… and what it is not.

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WHAT TO WEAR?

I am not uptight about apparel. I used to be much more conscious of clothing details. Then two things happened: 1) I experienced a time of poor health during which I had more children and was thrilled to be able to get them out the door with matching shoes, and 2) I became more conscious of the economic disparity at different parishes and realized I was dressing my children for the wrong audience (people instead of God).

Some parishes are quite formal (like First Communion) and you will likely know if that’s the case. Otherwise, I like white and it seems to be traditional but it’s very difficult to find a modest, affordable, white, warm weather dress, so we are flexible. We once found a beautiful ice blue dress with a delicate white lace overlay and it was perfect.

That’s my long-winded way of saying that it’s important that my kids dress nicely. But for Confirmation, there are really only two requirements:

• Clean and tidy

• Fitting to the dignity of the person and the sacrament

We found this dress for $40 and it was perfect. There were no straps to monkey with, no plunging neckline, and no length issues. But it was modern enough to please a growing young lady.

THE FLUFFY STUFF

I will never tell you that the details are unimportant. They are important! But I also know that the means and abilities of each family vary wildly. Some will go out to a nice dinner and some will BBQ. Some will rent a hall. Some will have a quiet dinner at home. If you are a DIY party person, you might enjoy my “fluffy'“ suggestions below. Meaning that they are the extras which make life colorful… the frosting… but are non-essential…

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COOKIES

We go big with cookies because they are so easy to customize and feed to crowds. These cut-outs take some time to prepare in big batches and the icing takes a day to cure. But with a little planning, they add a lot of fun to our feasting. The Recipe that I use is here:

The Essential Sugar Cookie Recipe

To all of you who follow me for healthy living…

All these deserts are gluten free. None of these deserts are healthy. Listen, we live in an imperfect world with compromises. Full disclosure is that I don’t eat this stuff because my health will suffer immediately for it. But my family does. And I do my best but also remain flexible. Adapt for your circumstances.

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CAKES

Decorating cakes is like a personal throw down for me. I have almost zero decorating skills but, since I am a creative/artistic person, I feel like I should be able to conquer the media without much stress. Challenge accepted! However…

A lazy and impatient cake decorator usually ends up with… a mess. Maybe tears. I try not to swear so maybe just some primal screams.

So my successes are really exciting.

Since I have not perfected a stable healthy gluten free cake recipe, I generally use a GF box mix for party-sized occasions. Perfect for a crowd that is usually predominately gluten-eating and accustomed to more commercial textures and flavors. My current favorite is Pamela’s chocolate. It tastes great and has great texture. For some reason, GF vanilla is never as moist.

This year’s cake was the result of a vision I had after scouring Pinterest. I saw flame suckers made from Isomalt and knew instantly that I wanted them as a cake topper. Then I stumbled across a very feminine white rosette cake and the vision was complete.

I usually don’t end up with anything close to my vision. This time, I pretty much nailed it…

Working with the Isomalt was a little nerve-racking and I could have used a couple practice runs before attempting the final topper. However, I only ordered 8 ounces of Isomalt and so I had to get it right the first time. I think I will only get better at it over time. Here is the tutorial I used: Fiery Cinnamon Suckers

And here are some things I learned:

• Isomalt is hot. All the tutorials say that but it just doesn’t really hit home until you’re pulling out the burn ointment.

• I purchased edible glitter in red. The gold never arrived but would have been beautiful. I did use a luster dust in gold that I already had and it was pretty but more opaque than I wanted.

• I used red and yellow food coloring

• I did not add flavoring because I did not intend for the toppers to be eaten… even though they are technically edible.

• I bought large (8”) sucker sticks at Walmart. I think they are meant for large cake pops. They went all the way through the cake which helped stabilize. I only needed 2 for my topper.

• If you accidentally break your creation, you can pop it back in the oven, remelt, and fix. I did this TWICE. So frustrating. Also, my colors blended together more than I wanted. But it’s all okay in the end. Let it go. (Come, Holy Spirit!)

• Use Silpat (or a reputable knock off) or high grade silicone. It’s really the only thing that let’s go of the Isomalt easily.

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CAKE FROSTING

In my dream world, I use the finest ingredients to make buttercream. I prefer the natural cream color of a grass-fed butter used in a recipe like THIS. I don’t mind if my cake gets melty and has to be stuck back in the fridge. But…

In a party world with more people and warm weather and cake-as-centerpiece, something more stable is helpful. This Wilton recipe is my compromise with the evil of Crisco: Easy Vanilla Buttercream. Better than a grocery store cake for sure, but I still have to hold the nose of my health-conscious sensibilities…

But hey, we’ve gone this far… let’s keeping going.

My favorite filling is a flavored buttercream, using an all butter buttercream with an addition like chocolate, salted caramel, or strawberry. I used dehydrated strawberries for the flame Confirmation cake and it was delicious. I added extra heavy whipping cream to increase moisture but totally over mixed it… which was sad aesthetically but did not impact the flavor.

Note: If you want to use dehydrated strawberries for healthier deserts, I recommend organic. The link above is for Amazon since many shop there but I purchase most of my clean goods through Thrive Market. I find that items there are often cheaper than store or Amazon. Get 25% off your first order HERE.

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MORE IDEAS AND DECOR

The last Confirmation party we had was definitely different in theme. I went very feminine with flowers and a dove instead of fire. Anything would have been appreciated since my children are so gracious, but I saw a picture of a succulent cake posted by a friend and… it was a throw down. I’m going to share the original link even though it makes me look bad: Stunning Succulent Cakes

Never piped flowers in your life? It’s fine. Waited until the last minute? Fine, fine. Used buttercream that melts quickly? Live and learn. The cake worked out. But the kitchen was literally covered in sugar.

I made the most beautiful fondant dove for this cake. And then I broke it. First time ever using fondant. In future, I would make the thing well ahead of time instead of last minute. My second bird was not as beautiful (because it had no wings and just wasn’t elegant like I had envisioned) and never did dry. However…

No one noticed or cared! (Second image has more accurate colors but no bird)

At some point in my cake making adventures, I purchased this set of piping tips which I have used innumerable times since then. Cookies, cupcakes, cakes, whipped cream, everything. I don’t really know how to use them well. I fake it all right much of the time.

I really love to make favors. I didn’t have time this year but that’s the way it goes. In years past, we have used Dove dark chocolate candies (red wrappers), Swedish fish (icthus!), homemade merengue candies, and fruity tootsie rolls (fruits of the Spirit).

Once upon a time, I made a fabric Confirmation banner that reads “VENI SANCTE SPIRITUS”… Come Holy Spirit! I misplaced it for this party (naturally) but I know it’s here somewhere and I do love how it turned out. It’s okay… I have 4 more Confirmations to go! You can find instructions HERE.

And that’s all for this year. I’m so excited for you and your family as you head into this incredible sacramental celebration. The Spirit of the living God will be present with you in a powerful way. What an awesome privilege!

As you prepare your home and make your lists, I encourage you to also prepare your hearts. How can we make a beautiful home for the Holy Spirit to reside? And how can we surrender our lives so that His power might rise up in us like a mighty flame of charity?

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Light a Holy Fire for Easter: A Saint Patrick Response to Quarantined Liturgy

As my family makes preparations to celebrate Easter at home during quarantine, my thoughts inevitably turn to the Paschal Fire. For 24 years, we have made the late night trek to church to see that fire set ablaze and to participate in the Easter Vigil Mass. This year is strange. And I’m floundering a bit.

I made a little Paschal candle for our domestic church. It’s not much but it’s pretty, symbolic, and at least reminiscent of liturgy. I also bought a few beeswax tapers off the internet that my family can light from that larger candle.

I’m not sure how it will all go. But my husband and I agree that there should be fire. Christ, Light of the World, show us Your glory and lead us to salvation.

My thoughts turn to practical matters like how we should light our home Paschal candle. Matches, of course. I’ll get those ready. But wait… Why not build our own Paschal Fire? Let’s light it from a Paschal Fire.

The churches have been closed. The sacraments withheld. The worship of Christians has been suppressed by fear. That fear, ironically is the fear of death. The same death which is defeated on Easter morning and for all eternity through the saving power of Jesus Christ.

My heart quickens as I think of the darkness and Easter. Watching the Paschal candle lighted by Father outside of the church. The smell of the smoke and the beeswax. The light of the Paschal Fire reflecting on the alter boys, on the priests and deacons, and on the people gathered. I don’t need more convincing…

I want a fire.

That thought nags at me through the day and I locate our rusty fire pit, usually reserved for burning autumn debris…

That will do. That will certainly do.

I imagine the fire on Holy Saturday night and know that the flames will make an impression on the children. On me. This is different. This is not Mass…but it is holy.

Then, I remember St. Patrick and the glorious Paschal Fire which he set ablaze on a hill in direct defiance of the Druidic High King. It was the night that the pagans would light their own fire to honor their sun god, and it was from this fire that all other fires would be lit around Ireland.

This pagan festival fell on the feast of Easter and Patrick built a huge bonfire which could be seen for many miles around…

A beacon of defiance. A symbol of hope. An act of worship. The annihilation of fear.

Ireland was awash with paganism and the worship of God suppressed. It was unlawful to light that fire. It was inflammatory. It was public. The punishment was death and yet Saint Patrick lit the Easter fire boldly…

On a hill.
In the midst of a pagan feast.
In celebration of the King of Heaven and the victory of Easter.
In holy defiance of the enemies of God.

The lighting of that fire wasn’t liturgical…but it was holy. And when the Druid king sent his solders to put out the fire and kill Patrick, they were unable to extinguish it. It was a fire that would not die. And neither did Patrick. Not that day. Because it was the beginning of the transformation of Ireland to the heart of Jesus Christ.

It was a bold act of unreserved worship. And I want that.

I am determined to light that fire. So that it shines through the darkness and shows my children that even when the land is covered with the darkness of fear, and the full expression of faith is suppressed by those who have power over our religious freedom…

We are still free. That is the point of Easter.

I imagine Paschal fires lighted across the world. In neighborhoods and on the country hills, in celebration of the the victory of Easter and…in defiance of the darkness.

I hope you light one. Safely, of course. Whether it is in your barbecue pit, a bonfire in your field, or simply a candle held against the darkness…

I hope you light one.

Let the world see your light. Let God see your light. Let it be a sign of our steadfast faith in the God whose fire cannot be extinguished. We are an Easter people. Let our praise shine like fire from our homes! Let the world see that the Light of Christ will not be extinguished.

Let others know. And share your fires on social media. Let His light shine!

And next year, may we all find ourselves shivering in the night air outside our parish churches, watching the flickering of the Paschal Fire in a new way. Never again forgetting the night we lit our own in hopeful defiance against the darkness.

This is our make-do DIY Paschal candle this year. It isn’t liturgical but it will do. Acrylic craft paint on a white pillar from a local store. The base coat took a lot of layers and patience since the candle was slippery. Good enough is good enough. God be praised.

How to Rock Confirmation Celebrations (in 7 Quick Takes}

{This post contains affiliate links. I may receive compensation for purchases
you make through my links. More info Here.} 

As we head into another Confirmation season, I dug into my archives to remember some of my favorite ways to celebrate. Kiddo number 4 will be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit in a few weeks and so we will be busy about things like spiritual preparation and counting plastic forks. The spiritual and material inevitably collide and thankfully, we usually managed to celebrate sacramentally and materially without much stress. (Just a little. Not more than usual. Perhaps a little less. Mostly.)

Diving into the memories and my 7 top favorite ways to rock a Confirmation celebration in my big Catholic family…

1. DOUBLE THE GRACES

We once managed to get the timing just right and get two kids Confirmed at one time. It was so fun, so lovely, so fruitful, and so... so efficient that we'd love to have the rest of the kids sealed with the Spirit in pairs. It won’t happen this time around but since my current Confirmandi has asked her older sister to be her sponsor, it still feels like a sweet pairing. And they clearly were a very fun pair.

We don’t break the bank for sacramental apparel since it is the overall appearance of respect and celebration that we are going for and not brand names. We picked up the jacket for the 13-year old (above) at Goodwill for $6. My daughter’s lovely dress (you can’t see the white lace overlay in my blurry photo) was 40% off at Lands End. Finding modest, contemporary, high quality lovely dresses for teen girls is not easy. This was a true win on all counts.

Probably the biggest expense of the event was finding a last minute pair of shoes for my daughter which would fit the gigantic bandage from a toe injured the day before. What would a celebration be without a little bloody excitement thrown in?

My son has since traded in his bargain jacket for lace… obviously also the work of the Holy Spirit…

2. FOLLOW THE RULES

Hey, when the DRE says that they really prefer that you not take pictures, what she probably means to say is "It's okay to take grainy pics of the back of people's heads standing in the aisle with your phone as long as you don't disturb the Bishop." So... we're good.

3. BE FLEXIBLE

Cakes implode. It happens. Especially when it's a gluten-free recipe that you haven't tried before. (Gluten is a phenomenal binding agent, by the way.) When it happens, beg Facebook to fix it for you and all of your friends will come to your aid within minutes. My deepest gratitude to Charlotte, Ellen, Katie, Jana, Mary, Meredith, Lena, and Kendra for the cake rescue help. (Good cake clearly takes a village.)

My daughter and I took the inspiration and ended up with cakes in cups that looked Pinterest-y (more or less) and tasted pretty darn good. Buttercream, yellow cake, whipping cream/cream cheese topping, a little edible gold spray (not visible in my low quality pic but pretty in person), gold and pearl sprinkles... done. And remarkably easy to serve. 

The kids really wanted to reproduce these cookie successes from our previous celebration but I had to choose between cookie making and cleaning the house. This photo is regular cookies but we now make them with a gluten free 1-to-1 flour and they turn out perfect. Not health food but that’s not the vibe most party-goers are going for anyway. Recipe and more pics and tips can be found here: The Essential Sugar Cookie Recipe

Also, yes… my icing is runny. I’ve gotten better at that over time but I think it suits the fire effect… kinda wild in a Holy Spirit way. Overflowing hearts with grace and passion!

4. ORDER GOOD WEATHER

When you forget to feed your toddler and you need to make a hasty exit in order to correct that increasingly noisy problem… you will be so glad that you planned for a sunny day. And since I live in Northeast Ohio where the odds are (at best) 50/50, we were fortunate to get the sunshine. Toddler was pacified. Mama got to see the actual Confirmations.

5. HAVE CHOCOLATE. REALLY GOOD CHOCOLATE.

From the word go, I was fully committed to the idea of some kind of decadent chocolate dessert. I found a wonderful recipe and made several batches of Raspberry and Chocolate Cheesecake Trifles. Wow. Recommended. Instead of fresh raspberries, I drizzled some raspberry syrup on the top and it was perfect. I modified the recipe to make it gluten free by replacing the chocolate cookie bottom with crumbled gluten free brownie. I replaced the Dove chocolates with chocolate chips to save money and it was still amazing.

I can no longer find the recipe on the Dove website or their Pinterest page and so I’m just going to drop my notes here in case anyone wants to try. The number of servings is not listed… sorry!

RASPBERRY & CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE TRIFLES

• 4 oz. DOVE PROMISES SILKY SMOOTH DARK CHOCOLATE, 16 pieces (or equivalent)

• 8 oz. CREAM CHEESE, room temperature

• 3 Tablespoons SUGAR

• 1 cup WHIPPING CREAM

• 8 CHOCOLATE SANDWICH COOKIES, coarsely chopped (or crumbled brownie)

• 1 cup FRESH RASPBERRIES (or just drizzle raspberry syrup or jam)

• Additional chocolates for garnish

Instructions

1. Place chocolate in microwave safe bowl, heat at 30 second intervals until almost melted. Stir until smooth. Allow to cool slightly.

2. Beat together cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Add cooled chocolate and mix well.

3. Whip cream until stiff peaks form. Add half of whipped cream to chocolate mixture.

4. Assemble - place about a tablespoon of chopped cookies in the bottom of each 8 oz. jar, layer on 2 tablespoons of chocolate cheesecake mixture, 4 raspberries, a tablespoon of whipped cream. Repeat layers ending with whipped cream.

5. Garnish with an additional unwrapped DOVE Promise. Cover and refrigerate until serving. These can be made up to 1 day ahead.

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We also made up little favors with Dove dark chocolate and Swedish Fish. Get it? Dove? And the fish as a symbol of our profession of faith. 

6. BE PREPARED

We are a homeschooling Catholic family with a lot of faith-based resources on hand for sacramental preparation. There's everything from the Baltimore Catechism to Lighthouse audios lining our shelves so there's plenty to choose from. In spite of that, we added an additional Confirmation resource this year called Decision Point, a program designed by Matthew Kelly. I'd like to write a full review in the future but I'll just say this for now:

It isn't the Summa Theologica. It isn't a complete presentation of the entire deposit of faith. It isn't sufficient on it's own without a richer context. But... it's a pretty rock solid program that inspired my entire family to love more and dig deeper into our faith. Kelly presents the Truth with so much real joy that it's difficult not to respond from the heart.

The material is not difficult but neither is it fluff. I've seen the program trashed by some who call it vanilla garbage. I don't agree. I think it's simple, but not simplistic. And I think that, especially in a broader parish context, it is the right combination of meat and refreshment to draw in some hardened hearts. I wouldn't rely on it alone but I'm very glad we added it to our homeschool program. 

A final positive note: Last I checked, the entire program - with DVD’s, student book, and manual - was only $16 shipped.

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 7. ALWAYS DIY

More low quality pictures of lovely things. I made this banner for Professor's Confirmation and was so excited that I didn't have to make anything like it again this time around. It was an easy project the first time and a finished project the second time. A great relief. Here’s how I made the banner…

I used a Joanne fabric gift card that I'd been hoarding to purchase fabric for a Pentacost/Confirmation banner. I found a sturdy pretty (clearance) red fabric in the home decor section and used a lightweight printed cotton for the letters. I printed letters for "Veni Sancte Spiritus" off the computer in the desired size and font and traced them onto the fabric after I had ironed on a layer of Heat 'n' Bond. The ribbon (which is not very visible in the photos) is white satin with gold swirls. A little cutting, a little ironing, a little sewing later... I had a rather nice reusable banner.

VENI SANCTE SPIRITUS!!!

*BONUS TAKE*

I couldn't post this without telling you briefly about the greatest blessing of the party preparation. It came at the price of humiliation and a wounded heart (not mine) but if that's what it takes to bring me to my knees, so be it...

I did pretty well overall about staying even tempered while trying to get a pretty messy home ready for a lot of company. It's always a funny contradiction; a stressful household preparing for a sacramental celebration! I wasn't too uptight but I was rather tired. And in spite of my general success, I lost my cool with one of my littles.

I repented immediately, scooped the child up, and ran to the nearest cuddling couch. I told her that it wasn't her. I told her that she meant more to me than any party. I told her that I would rather have our guests come to a messy, stinky home than to burden her heart with my sharp words again. She cried and I cried and we sat there for a long time, leaving all the urgent things undone. 

My whole day changed in that moment. I didn't forget my priorities again (at least not that day). She's more important to me than any party. She's just as treasured as our most honored guest. It's not worth it. The pride-based stress isn't worth the bruised hearts of my children. And I went into the rest of the preparation with a sad, humbled, and rejoicing heart. He allowed me to see my priorities and set them straight and I would not dismiss the gift. Thanks be to God.

Linking up with Kelly for 7 Quick Takes Friday