How to Celebrate a Catholic Confirmation
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Spoiler: There is no perfect way to celebrate a Confirmation other than to invite the Holy Spirit into the heart of your day and proceed with joy! But it is a cause for feasting and communal rejoicing… so I’ve compiled some of little touches which have helped us acknowledge the greatness of the event.
How do I prepare for a party? I essentially just poke around Pinterest until I find something beautiful that recalls to mind both guests of honor: the Holy Spirit and the Confirmandi! And then I find one item of focus and start to build from there.
As you can tell, I’m artistically minded and paint a party like a Monet. It doesn’t make sense to everyone but as long as the final picture reflects something lovely, it’s fine. My DIY blog posts will drive the super-planners among you batty. With that in mind…
Below are basic rules for putting together your party. And if you are looking for more ideas after this post, I’ve written about this before HERE .
RULE #1: THERE ARE NO RULES
I mean that. As long as you have your people, your joy, a central focus on the things of God, you’re good to go. And even if you are a hot mess with a newborn on your hip and a clogged toilet… party cheerfully anyway! The Spirit is working in you and around you… let your mess be an adventure of refinement. Offer it all to Him as a gift and let Him make it good.
MAKE ONE THING BEAUTIFUL (and put it in the middle)
No one will ever accuse me of being a domestic diva. And parties are not my strength. If that is your challenge as well, just focus on making one thing beautiful. And I don’t mean just Instagram-worthy… I mean something meaningful which has the potential to make a memory but also is oriented towards hearts.
This may sound shallow, but I find that I’m pretty good at doing this through dessert (I will share some of my successes below). And I don’t mean that I’m a great baker, only that I’m creative and find that it’s a way to express what I’m pondering about the goodness of God.
But this can be done in other ways…
Decor.
Letter writing.
Floral arrangements.
Gift giving.
Sewing.
Pictures.
Prayer.
Music.
Fellowship.
Family.
PRAY
Pray all through the prep and all through the day. Confirmation is easy because you can just pray COME, HOLY SPIRIT! and then hit repeat. It is especially helpful when you accidentally ruin the cake and have to start all over again. But also pray it all through Mass, preparations, and dish washing.
God knows your heart and hears the changing inflections. He comes because He is faithful. Bring Him into your preparations and party. Bring Him into your interactions, stress, and clean up. You will be imperfect. But He is there.
Here’s a wonderful Holy Spirit Novena to pray as well. There isn’t one specific time that a novena has to be prayed. Maybe pray it leading up to Pentacost or pray leading up to Confirmation. Novena to the Holy Spirit for the Seven Gifts
READ (and talk about it)
In the days leading up to the sacrament, walk your family through the Acts of the Apostles in Scripture. Read about Pentacost and the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. Help your family see that this is not a story book but a family history. It is real. Emphasize that this same Spirit which poured out gifts and power on the Apostles is the same one which will descend during the Confirmation Mass.
I also recommend diving into the Church’s teachings on the sacrament. Here are some of my thoughts on why Confirmation is not a “rite of passage” but a free and unmerited gift at any age. What Confirmation is… and what it is not.
WHAT TO WEAR?
I am not uptight about apparel. I used to be much more conscious of clothing details. Then two things happened: 1) I experienced a time of poor health during which I had more children and was thrilled to be able to get them out the door with matching shoes, and 2) I became more conscious of the economic disparity at different parishes and realized I was dressing my children for the wrong audience (people instead of God).
Some parishes are quite formal (like First Communion) and you will likely know if that’s the case. Otherwise, I like white and it seems to be traditional but it’s very difficult to find a modest, affordable, white, warm weather dress, so we are flexible. We once found a beautiful ice blue dress with a delicate white lace overlay and it was perfect.
That’s my long-winded way of saying that it’s important that my kids dress nicely. But for Confirmation, there are really only two requirements:
Clean and tidy
Fitting to the dignity of the person and the sacrament
We found this dress for $40 and it was perfect. There were no straps to monkey with, no plunging neckline, and no length issues. But it was modern enough to please a growing young lady.
THE FLUFFY STUFF
I will never tell you that the details are unimportant. They are important! But I also know that the means and abilities of each family vary wildly. Some will go out to a nice dinner and some will BBQ. Some will rent a hall. Some will have a quiet dinner at home. If you are a DIY party person, you might enjoy my “fluffy'“ suggestions below. Meaning that they are the extras which make life colorful… the frosting… but are non-essential…
COOKIES
We go big with cookies because they are so easy to customize and feed to crowds. These cut-outs take some time to prepare in big batches and the icing takes a day to cure. But with a little planning, they add a lot of fun to our feasting. The Recipe that I use is here:
The Essential Sugar Cookie Recipe
To all of you who follow me for healthy living…
All these deserts are gluten free. None of these deserts are healthy. Listen, we live in an imperfect world with compromises. Full disclosure is that I don’t eat this stuff because my health will suffer immediately for it. But my family does. And I do my best but also remain flexible. Adapt for your circumstances.
CAKES
Decorating cakes is like a personal throw down for me. I have almost zero decorating skills but, since I am a creative/artistic person, I feel like I should be able to conquer the media without much stress. Challenge accepted! However…
A lazy and impatient cake decorator usually ends up with… a mess. Maybe tears. I try not to swear so maybe just some primal screams.
So my successes are really exciting.
Since I have not perfected a stable healthy gluten free cake recipe, I generally use a GF box mix for party-sized occasions. Perfect for a crowd that is usually predominately gluten-eating and accustomed to more commercial textures and flavors. My current favorite is Pamela’s chocolate. It tastes great and has great texture. For some reason, GF vanilla is never as moist.
This year’s cake was the result of a vision I had after scouring Pinterest. I saw flame suckers made from Isomalt and knew instantly that I wanted them as a cake topper. Then I stumbled across a very feminine white rosette cake and the vision was complete.
I usually don’t end up with anything close to my vision. This time, I pretty much nailed it…
Working with the Isomalt was a little nerve-racking and I could have used a couple practice runs before attempting the final topper. However, I only ordered 8 ounces of Isomalt and so I had to get it right the first time. I think I will only get better at it over time. Here is the tutorial I used: Fiery Cinnamon Suckers
And here are some things I learned:
Isomalt is hot. All the tutorials say that but it just doesn’t really hit home until you’re pulling out the burn ointment.
I purchased edible glitter in red. The gold never arrived but would have been beautiful. I did use a luster dust in gold that I already had and it was pretty but more opaque than I wanted.
I used red and yellow food coloring
I did not add flavoring because I did not intend for the toppers to be eaten… even though they are technically edible.
I bought large (8”) sucker sticks at Walmart. I think they are meant for large cake pops. They went all the way through the cake which helped stabilize. I only needed 2 for my topper.
If you accidentally break your creation, you can pop it back in the oven, remelt, and fix. I did this TWICE. So frustrating. Also, my colors blended together more than I wanted. But it’s all okay in the end. Let it go. (Come, Holy Spirit!)
Use Silpat (or a reputable knock off) or high grade silicone. It’s really the only thing that let’s go of the Isomalt easily.
CAKE FROSTING
In my dream world, I use the finest ingredients to make buttercream. I prefer the natural cream color of a grass-fed butter used in a recipe like THIS. I don’t mind if my cake gets melty and has to be stuck back in the fridge. But…
In a party world with more people and warm weather and cake-as-centerpiece, something more stable is helpful. This Wilton recipe is my compromise with the evil of Crisco: Easy Vanilla Buttercream. Better than a grocery store cake for sure, but I still have to hold the nose of my health-conscious sensibilities…
But hey, we’ve gone this far… let’s keeping going.
My favorite filling is a flavored buttercream, using an all butter buttercream with an addition like chocolate, salted caramel, or strawberry. I used dehydrated strawberries for the flame Confirmation cake and it was delicious. I added extra heavy whipping cream to increase moisture but totally over mixed it… which was sad aesthetically but did not impact the flavor.
Note: If you want to use dehydrated strawberries for healthier deserts, I recommend organic. The link above is for Amazon since many shop there but I purchase most of my clean goods through Thrive Market. I find that items there are often cheaper than store or Amazon. Get 25% off your first order HERE.
MORE IDEAS AND DECOR
The last Confirmation party we had was definitely different in theme. I went very feminine with flowers and a dove instead of fire. Anything would have been appreciated since my children are so gracious, but I saw a picture of a succulent cake posted by a friend and… it was a throw down. I’m going to share the original link even though it makes me look bad: Stunning Succulent Cakes
Never piped flowers in your life? It’s fine. Waited until the last minute? Fine, fine. Used buttercream that melts quickly? Live and learn. The cake worked out. But the kitchen was literally covered in sugar.
I made the most beautiful fondant dove for this cake. And then I broke it. First time ever using fondant. In future, I would make the thing well ahead of time instead of last minute. My second bird was not as beautiful (because it had no wings and just wasn’t elegant like I had envisioned) and never did dry. However…
No one noticed or cared! (Second image has more accurate colors but no bird)
At some point in my cake making adventures, I purchased this set of piping tips which I have used innumerable times since then. Cookies, cupcakes, cakes, whipped cream, everything. I don’t really know how to use them well. I fake it all right much of the time.
I really love to make favors. I didn’t have time this year but that’s the way it goes. In years past, we have used Dove dark chocolate candies (red wrappers), Swedish fish (icthus!), homemade merengue candies, and fruity tootsie rolls (fruits of the Spirit).
Once upon a time, I made a fabric Confirmation banner that reads “VENI SANCTE SPIRITUS”… Come Holy Spirit! I misplaced it for this party (naturally) but I know it’s here somewhere and I do love how it turned out. It’s okay… I have 4 more Confirmations to go! You can find instructions HERE.
And that’s all for this year. I’m so excited for you and your family as you head into this incredible sacramental celebration. The Spirit of the living God will be present with you in a powerful way. What an awesome privilege!
As you prepare your home and make your lists, I encourage you to also prepare your hearts. How can we make a beautiful home for the Holy Spirit to reside? And how can we surrender our lives so that His power might rise up in us like a mighty flame of charity?
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.
O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.
